i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
