He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
