Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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