You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
