Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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