My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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