he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
