16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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