walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
