he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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