It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
