Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
