have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
the night ended with taco bell and tears
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
