you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Ketchup is God's man juice
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
