I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
this will be a night to untag.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
