how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
A+ Viking dick
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
