I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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