Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
