The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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