DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
