he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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