You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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