Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
