I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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