I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
