K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
