My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
