Kiss
Puke
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
