Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
