I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize