I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
