I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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