I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
