just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
