Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
