i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
