You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
