how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
