I wish i was in the wii world.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
