She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
where are my pants?
in the oven.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
