I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
