Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
