oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
