Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
