I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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