If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
