so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
