The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
