How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
