drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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